Waking up and realizing that your baby is not moving is one of the most terrifying thoughts that any parent can have. Imagine the joy and excitement that their babies bring to their family. Babies mean the world to their parents.

Yet there is a dark side, and unfortunately it happens too often. There are parents every year who have to experience the nightmare of accidentally suffocating their baby. Their baby who had a whole life ahead of it, a life with countless unknowns and possibilities. In order to prevent the loss of our precious little ones, we must all remember that co-sleeping needs to be done safely.

There was a Safe Sleep campaign that took place in Milwaukee starting in 2009, and a journalist who had an opposing opinion stated that their, “initiative is flawed in that it holds individuals responsible for the problem of infant mortality that is rooted in deep, system-wide inequalities based on race and class.”

Certain races are targeted during these anti-sleep campaigns all over the United States, and it doesn’t take a straight A student to see clearly that rather than trying to promote education on the topic, anti co-sleeping campaigns try to scare people into believing that co-sleeping cannot be done safely. They have a clear message for the parents who co-sleep and that is that targeted parents are not capable of following more complex messages about bed-sharing, like how to do so safely.

In other words, that they are unintelligent and incapable of learning how to sleep safely with their children. Therefore rather than try to educate them on how to do it safely, instead they scare parents and criminalize them. People tend to live up to the expectations that we hold for them, and treating them like they are not smart enough to make their own informed decisions definitely isn’t going to contribute to them learning how to do so.

African American women are specifically targeted by these campaigns everywhere in the U.S. In the article, “Frontiers: A Journal of Women Studies,” the writer argues that there is a reason for infant deaths that goes way beyond co-sleeping. Co-sleeping is merely a scapegoat, a way for the city to look like it is dealing with a difficult problem when in all reality the problems are poverty, segregation, poor health care and stress. These are all factors that contribute to infant death, meaning it is not only co-sleeping that contributes to SIDS.

Attachment parenting is not a new style of parenting, but it is newly embraced in Western civilization. It suggests that parents who keep their babies and children very close to them by bed-sharing will raise children that will thrive and become strong independent thinkers.

Westerners generally thought that if you held a child too much they would become dependent and needy, but research as well as various books like “The Continuum Concept” by Jane Liedloff actually shows the opposite effect will take place. Babies and toddlers who are not held enough and are pushed away from mom and dad too early are more likely to become needy and always want to be held.

In America we are taught by doctors and nurses that co-sleeping is unsafe from the get-go. In my experience, if you let your doctor know that you are co-sleeping or you intend to, you can expect a visit from Child Protective Services. CPS will make you feel as if you are a bad parent for making the decision to co-sleep and pressure you to make a different decision by implying that you can have your children taken from you, even though that is against the law.

Rather than backing parents who choose this practice into a corner and treating them like they are ignorant and unable to make their own intelligent and informed decisions, doctors and nurses should talk to all patients about safe co-sleeping practices.

An article titled, “Parent-Infant Co-Sleeping and its Relationship to Breastfeeding” explains the nuanced issue of co-sleeping.

“This assessment should impart a nonjudgmental approach so as not to suggest there is a right or a wrong practice,” it states, because there isn’t a right or wrong way to raise your children. Most parents want what is best for their children.

“Despite the risks and the recommendations by the AAP and CPSC, automatically condemning co-sleeping may not be appropriate in all families. Instead, the individual needs of the infant/child, the family context, and the cultural backgrounds need to be taken into consideration.”

Every parent has the right to decide how to raise their children.

How can you co-sleep safely? There is no guarantee that any sleeping situation will prevent SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Guidelines are available that parents can follow to create the safest co-sleeping environment possible for their infants:
1. Sleep on a firm mattress, no exceptions. If baby rolls over on a soft mattress, it can smother him or her.
2. Remove all strangulation risks from near the bed (cords, strings, ties).
3. Always use a tightly fitted sheet on the bed, and no fluffy blankets.
4. Always put infants to sleep on their backs.
5. Consider your weight: Mothers or fathers who weigh more than 175 pounds have shown a greater risk for overlaying on their infants.
6. Never co-sleep if you are “using any depressants, sedative drugs, illegal drugs, or when alcohol has been consumed.”