A&E / Opinion

The Five Guys You Will Date in College

By Athena Skapinakis
Advertising Manager

Disclaimer: every example is purely fictitious and any resemblance to actual events or persons is entirely coincidental. I would never publicly poke fun at my friends, enemies or exes.
However, you’ll never know if my fingers are crossed.

Dating in college is one of the most challenging endeavors one can engage in.
The most fascinating thing about dating in college are the people you come across. These interesting bunch of men will help you reach an understanding of what it is you truly look for in a partner.
It’s all a game of hit and miss, mostly miss. You end up discovering so many things about yourself during the process that prepare you for your ultimate destination, finding the illuminating love you were searching for all along.
But you have to deal with some of these liars before you could recognize the truth. Some of these people include, but are not limited to, these five individuals you may have the displeasure of dating. For instance, you could possibly date:

The Sociopath
Pros: He absurdly charming and sociable, knows everyone on campus and gets along great with your friends. He tells you everything you want to hear and more.
Cons: He doesn’t do any of the things he says he will, making him a flake and liar. He’s also got a lot of spare time since he’s ditching class that while he wasn’t devoting his life to you, he was making new friends. Don’t mind that all of them just so happen to be girls.
Dating Expectancy: Until you tell him to save the lies and cheat on someone else.

The Intellectual Prick
Pros: He’s got a seriously impressive résumé and a promising future. You can’t believe how witty he is. He’s into opera, fine dining and profound conversations on every subject, especially the topic of how much better he is than everyone else.
Cons: He thinks no one is on his level, not even you. Therefore, you are beneath him and also open to his many criticisms. You glutton for punishment, you.
Dating Expectancy: When you realize he isn’t worth a damn.

The Bad Boy
Pros: He’s adventurous and looks absolutely sexy in leather. Because of him, you’re looking at life from a different perspective, probably an illegal one. Your parents and friends hate him because he’s a bad influence. But he’s not all bad! He’s just lost, and the only one who can save him is you.
Cons: He’s already over you and onto the next one, or he’s in jail. You didn’t want to date a crack-slanger who probably has kids anyway.
Dating Expectancy: A couple weeks to whenever he gets bored. He’ll be back when he’s out on parole if you still want to rekindle anything.

The Lord of the Frat
Pros: He’s the life of the party, always in great spirits—both in mood and alcohol. And you’re down for the good times until you see that…
Cons: All he does is drink, hang with his bros, and make stupid, usually sexist, jokes which you’re the butt of. You’ve never seen him sober. Were you even sober?
Dating Expectancy: A few blurred months to a year. Essentially it’s the day you figure out you’ve outgrown the party hard life and leave him to his fatty liver and bleak future.

The Security Blanket
Pros: He’s into every single thing you are and laughs at all your jokes. He worships the ground you walk on, and you could get used to this. He’s so into you, it’s stupid.
Cons: It really is stupid. There’s no chemistry, not a spark. You’re aware of that, and now he’s smothering the hell out of you. You probably should have just stayed friends.
Dating Expectancy: The day you woman-up and tell him it’s not him, it’s you. It’s him.
You’re convinced love has done you extremely dirty. You want to demand some sort of refund, but don’t even know who to make the returns to—no one wants them back.
Although, you are grateful in a way for all the life lessons so you accept that you’ve made mistakes and move on. There just might not be ‘The One’ for you, and you and your cat are okay with that.
Then you meet someone who is different from all the rest. And that’s because this guy is:

The One
Pros: Everything. He gets you on all levels and is your equal. He thinks you’re the most beautiful creature on this planet because to him, you are. He values and loves you. It’s about damn time.
Cons: Sometimes you make your jealous friends throw up a little in their mouth, but they’ll never actually say that to your face because they’re happy you finally found a good one.
Dating Expectancy: Just until he asks you to marry him because unlike the others he realizes what a catch you are, and he won’t hesitate to put a ring on it.

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