The Aces: Retail store shows me my first girl, gay band.
During high school, I picked up a job at my local T.J. Maxx. This one song played that always put me in a great mood with a smile from cheek to cheek.
At the time, I had no idea that this song was crafted by an all-girl indie pop band, of whom 3 out of the 4 members identify as queer.
“I’m spendin’ all my money, I’m broke but we still party / I think I could love somebody like you-ou-ou-ou,” The Aces sing in “Stay.”
This is the part of the song that stuck out to me the most. I love the rhythm and the lyrics, as I am a sucker for any love song.
Eventually, I heard the rest of their album, fell in love with the band, followed them on Instagram, and discovered that some members were part of the LGBTQ+ community.
The songs The Aces sing are about love and the journey of falling in love. While they have more obviously queer-coded pieces than others, most of the ones I heard were very neutral.
The Aces created a space in music through their songwriting where love really is just love.
Madeline The Person: Sometimes love is not enough when you are part of the LGBTQ+ community.
The first artist to make me cry was Madeline the Person. Through her lyrics and instrumentals, Madeline has this way of singing about love, losing a parent, or experiences with bullies that make you deeply relate to those feelings.
One of the first songs I heard from her was “Haunted.”
Madeline starts by singing, “And every day felt like a movie / Like one that’s sweet and slightly gloomy / I couldn’t hold your hand in public / I guess that’s how I got so lovesick.”
When you are queer, multiple things can potentially keep you in the “closet.” Whether due to family, fear of being judged, or religion, it is a process that is not always easy.
Madeline shows a side of relationships that LGBTQ+ folks can face.
Throughout the song, Madeline describes the process of being happy when you are with your partner while not being able to share that joy publicly.
Madeline shows the harsh truth that sometimes the person you love might return to the closet’s comfort.
In the last chorus, Madeline sings, “But why’d you go back in the closet? / All the heavy things live in it / That’s the closet where we whispered / Into a cracked phone, our hearts flickered / In that closet, my mom told me / That my best friend could never hold me / Ever again and that’s the last time / That something hidden could also be mine.”
This was one of those songs that affected me, even to this day. It is a harsh reminder that sometimes you cannot be with the person you love, regardless of how beautiful the relationship is behind closed doors.
Zolita: Music video shows me a different side of high school I never saw.
Picture this: You and your bestie open up YouTube, where you find yourself watching music videos. She tells you that you must watch one from an artist you have never heard of.
The music video was for the song “Somebody I F*cked Once” by Zolita, or Zoë Hoetzel, a singer, songwriter, and filmmaker.
I did not fall in love with the song at first; rather, I was captivated by the creative music video depicting what it is like to be out in high school.
In this music video, Zolita plays a popular cheerleader. She has the stereotypical boyfriend she publicly ditches to be with her crush, who happens to be a girl. It all started with her interest in “ceramics.”
“Second date, kinda hate / That I have to act like I don’t / Know your life in and out / From your Instagram account / If it were up to me / I’d be calling you mine already,” Zolita sings.
This is my favorite section of the whole song. It is truly honest about pretending that you don’t know anything about your crush when you are most likely up at night stalking their online accounts.
This music video shows you a different side of high school where you can truly be who you are and ditch the status quo of a hetero relationship.
Maddie Zahm: Singer-songwriter from L.A. captivates the feelings of being queer with a religious past.
I think the universe knew I had to discover Maddie Zahm when I was more comfortable in my queer identity.
One day, when I was driving home from college, the song “Pocket Bible” by Zahm started to play. I began to cry and immediately put it on repeat.
I have never heard a song that sheds light on the experience of identifying as a good church girl who starts questioning their sexuality and the Bible.
“Said he was gay and I didn’t get that/ Wish I had known it then ’cause looking back/ He could have been the best friend I couldn’t have” is the first verse of “Pocket Bible.”
I never felt so seen. While I was a teen, I often questioned my church and its beliefs towards the LGBTQ+ community.
Zahm continues later in the song, “Carried around judgment and labeled it love/ Thought I knew how to live exactly right/ The truth ain’t travel sized.”
This song creates space without judgment for a heavy conversation around those who have ever had questions about the Bible and the topic of being gay.
From music videos, girl bands and indie artists, these are the four artists that helped me be seen and loved for my queer identity. Music is something that I can relate to, and I hope that these artists can help others, like they helped me.
