Bisexuality from a female’s perspective

Kiara Zabala, Opinion Editor

Art by Frankie Nadal

If you were to look at me, you would see a number of things. A girl who dyes their hair crazy colors. A person with a collection of tattoos. Someone in a “straight” relationship. 

However, I am so much more than what lies above the surface. Hello, my name is Kiara, and I am bisexual. My pronouns are she/they, with more of a preference of they. 

The world is not as easy as one may think. People have this strange belief that once you come out, the battle is over. But really, that is where the battle finally begins. In my case, I am out to the world, but not my family. With this piece, I am putting it out there for all who choose to see. 

With being bisexual, there come certain things along with it, also because I am a female. For example, people think that my sexuality is a phase simply because my partner is male. This is not the case at all. My sexuality does not waiver depending on who I choose to date at the time. My sexuality is a constant that doesn’t falter. 

I also have been asked by men to partake in various activities because I am attracted to men and women. Just because I go both ways in the laws of attraction, this does not mean that I wish to partake in such activities.  

Now, to be told that my sexuality does not exist from the community I was supposed to be welcomed in, the LGBTQIA+, is another thing. I am either told that my sexuality does not exist, or I am sexualized for being attracted to who I choose. It seems to me as if there is no winning. I feel as though I am drowning, trying to stay afloat in such a confusing world. 

I am writing this because I want people to be aware of just how difficult it is to be bisexual. People like to think we have it all figured out. That we know exactly what we want. But sometimes I feel I do not belong anywhere. I don’t belong in “straight culture” and some of the LGBTQ+ community don’t even believe bisexuality is even a real thing. How am I supposed to be myself, be comfortable in my own skin if I don’t even know where I belong? 

When you come out, everyone just thinks all your problems get fixed. But in my case, sometimes I wonder just how much easier my life would be if I just stayed in the closet because with that closet door wide open, more questions lay within.