Does hearing the words “First Date” or the thought of going on a first date make you anxious? The idea of wanting to achieve perfection for the first date can cause a lot of over-whelming feelings. This is because we all naturally want to make the best first impression. So because we want to be our best selves, we often avoid asking certain questions, usually ones that can be controversial, such as religion or politics, and simply resort to small talk only.

Dallas McKinney, 28, said, “There’s nothing fun about just saying words at each other to pass the time.” Small talk is no way to get to know someone and their true intentions.

Kassy Webb, 25, said, “If I could tell my date what questions I wanted him to ask me, I would want him to ask me how certain life events made me feel? What do I like to learn about? What are my goals in life?”

A first date is where we discover if we want to con-tinue dating the person and the only way to figure that out is by asking the right questions. So, what are the things that you most want to know about a person? To help you out, here are 10 questions to ask on a first date:

What does your daily routine consist of?

This is a great question to ask the person to get them to talk about them self and also learn what his/her day-to-day looks like. The easiest way to get to know someone is by letting them talk about themselves. This will also give you clarity on how much quality time you’ll have to spend with this person.

What’s your personality type?

This question could be asked from different angles. You can ask them this question from the perception of Myers-Briggs personality type which tells you how this person perceives the world and makes their decisions. Or you can ask this from a characteristic point of view.

What is your love language?

This is my favorite question to ask when getting to know someone. A person’s love language is so important to know because this is how a person is going to tell you how a person expresses and experiences love. Without knowing this you can miss the best part about the person. It also shows you their commitment to their partner.

What is something you need to work on?

This question lets you see the maturity level of the other person. You can see how the person carries him/herself and know how they handle conflict.

What have you done to change yourself for the better?

The ability to put your pride aside and fix what’s been broken is so humbling. This show’s you a person’s strength and if they can adapt to different environments and situations.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Their dreams, how hard working they are, and what’s important to them in life. Seeing what they value most from them-selves and others around them.

Top five necessary character traits?

Everybody has a list of characteristics that they need from a person to be with them, such as loyalty, trust, compassion, communication. Knowing what matters most from a person will give you a good idea about what characteristics they have to offer and know your compatibility.

What are your long and short-term goals?

We all have things we want to accomplish. Some things can be accomplished in a short time and some things are going to take longer but either way, both will require time. This will help you see the person’s mindset and if the two of you are on the same path.

Ask them if there is anything specific that they’ve been wanting to learn about or try. And if they do or you do, you can help each other learn something new. Or even discover something new about yourself.

Do you want something serious? Or just someone to have fun with?

Nobody wants to waste their time. And instead of assuming, it’s better to ask the person where they are at in life and how much they can contribute to the relationship.