That cute girl you’ve been crushing on in your first class of the day probably has no idea you exist so you’ve taken it upon yourself to introduce yourself and carry on an extended conversation as you walk her to her next destination. You feel confident about your approach. She didn’t run away. Except you’ve probably been unknowingly blacklisted as a creeper.

How did this happen? You were polite, and she responded to all of your questions. But maybe you just didn’t read her body language because you were too busy assessing your next move on her in your head. Yeah, you’re a creeper.

I hardly know where to begin when explaining the many horrendous ways a guy has tried to pick up on me. After exchanging countless O-M-G stories with my girl friends, I know I’m not the only one who suffers. I don’t think that anyone willingly wants to be a creeper—it just happens. You can change your ways by avoiding these:

1. Approaching Her From Behind

You’ve probably already thought up a perverted joke, proving my point. You should never approach a girl from behind. You will startle her. She’ll probably reach for her mace keychain or rape whistle. That distressed look in her eyes isn’t something you’ve imagined. It’s real, because you came up behind her and scared her.

2. Gym Feels

Don’t watch a girl do lunges. Don’t ask to join her workout. Just don’t. Exercising already puts a lady in a compromising position because, frankly, most exercises are awkward. We are unintentionally exposing parts of ourselves by squatting. It’s not our fault we want a toned booty. It isn’t a cry for attention. We just want to look better naked, but that doesn’t mean we want to look better naked for you. Silly boy, as if you’re that important.

3. Asking for her last name

She reluctantly gave you her first name out of an obligation she felt she had to be polite. She already feels singled out and uncomfortable. If she didn’t offer her first name, she definitely doesn’t want you knowing her last name. The last thing she needs is another Facebook stalker.

4. Facebook messaging her—all the time

Hm, she hasn’t responded to your last set of “hello,” “hi,” “hey,” “how are you,” “what’s up,” “why r u still awake, lol.” She’s probably still awake because she’s living in fear. That’s partly a joke. But honestly, if she didn’t respond the first three times, it is not a fluke. She really just wants you to stop messaging her. Take a hint “plz, lol.”

5. Asking her out on a Facebook post

What the actual (insert expletive of choice here)? If she posts, “Love being single” and a bunch of little hearts, that isn’t her saying, “Please ask me out, ohmigawd.” That’s her saying that she loves being single. Don’t interpret it to fit what you want it to mean. Don’t comment asking her out in a Facebook post. At least have the decency to send her a message to ask privately otherwise you’ve subjected yourself to be publicly rejected, and you deserve it. Feel embarrassed.

6. Touching her—in any way

I don’t care if you think you saw a miniscule piece of lint on her thigh. Do not touch her leg. What is wrong with you? You don’t touch people you don’t know, barely know and think you know and so on. She didn’t give you permission. She is perfectly capable of removing the alleged lint from her own leg if you just say, “Hey, you’ve got lint on your leg.” Keep your hands to yourself.

7. Dancing doesn’t equal dry sex

Unless she lets you know that’s what she wants, she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t need coaxing or any kind of encouragement. Don’t put your boner against her butt cheeks and grind. She said yes to dance with you, not to have dry sex with you. Pervert.

8.  Ogling her lady parts

It’s obvious. We have eyes. We can see you. Staring down our blouses and at our butts doesn’t make a good impression. It tells us all you want is sex, and maybe we don’t want sex of any kind with you, not even the imaginary kind in your head. Did that ever occur to you?

9. Cornering her

Oh, you’ve got her now! This is probably the most mortifying thing ever for a girl. You have intentionally or unintentionally got her in a corner in a desperate attempt to get to know her. You haven’t realized that she has already plotted every escape route possible but cannot execute a single one because you have trapped her. You’ve removed flight from her fight or flight response system, so expect to get slapped.

10. Whining to her about being in the friend zone

Guys who claim they are good guys and tired of being in the friend zone are actually the worst. First off, whining is just unattractive. If you’re going to be rejected and friend zoned, at least be a man about it. And yeah, you’re such a good guy that you are always being put in the friend zone, and maybe you should just be a jerk like all the other guys. Except you already are a jerk. A friend is just that, a friend—friends don’t expect sex in return for kindness. It just doesn’t work that way. Try again.

If you have committed any of these atrocious acts, please reform your ways or forever be known as a creeper.