By Melissa Maddux
Reporter
Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, yet there are still some people at CSU Bakersfield that are single, whether they want to be or not.
A majority of student’s date on a regular basis, but there are others that believe they have not yet found that “right person.” Being single and in college can be a time of loneliness and depression on top of the overwhelming stress that college life already brings.
Counselor Michael Harville of CSUB’s counseling center, explains that his definition of being single is not being in a romantic relationship. Harville said that at least a possible “third of the students I see are not in a relationship,” but he said it all “depends on the individual…I [do] see a lot of happy single people.”
A few students have expressed to Harville about feeling distressed when they are single, but it is a rare occurrence.
Harville’s advice to single students is to “accept up front that most dating relationships end, be yourself, and see who is interested and attracted in that.”
Young men and women have different mindsets, goals, and expectations when they look for a potential mate. A whole new demographic is emerging, which makes it more difficult to find a significant other at CSUB based on the male to female ratio, said Harville. For straight couples there is a 61-39 male to female ratio here at CSUB.
“Women are going to find there is not enough men on campus to date,” said Harville.
Being single is not necessarily a bad thing and is not a reflection of a person’s mental health, as it happens to be the preference of the individual, said Harville.
Communications major Chelsea McDowell, 19, is currently single and does not usually date.
McDowell said that she “would not date anyone in Bakersfield, but preferably someone from San Bernardio.”
McDowell also said that she currently prefers someone that is “young, black, muscular, and that is funny like a young Chris Rock.”
At this point in McDowell’s life she said that she is at a “period where you are not getting married and no one takes you seriously at this age.”
English major Jake Williams, 22, is also currently single, but he usually dates every couple of weeks. According to Williams, one of the reasons that he is still currently single is that “it’s not my time and I haven’t found the right girl.”
For Williams, he said it is “very hard” being single in college, because he happens to live in the dorms and there are a lot more women than men living there.
Living in Bakersfield and being single in college is hard “because Bakersfield is number one in STD’s and a lot of people want to do one-night stands,” said Williams.
When dating, Williams said he looks for certain things in a partner, such as “authenticity, a sense of humor, matching sense of humor, goals, hygienic, good-looking, pretty, and body-size is not that important.”
Being single does not always have to be a bad thing. If you are single, use that time getting to know yourself. Treat yourself to dinner and a movie, and most importantly take care of your needs. This is not to say that you should not get to know other people. Building relationships, without being tied down, can be a blessing in disguise. And while it’s nice to have that “special someone” in our lives, especially around this time of year, being single can be an exciting time for personal growth and exploration.
